Ruth day 5: Who are you? – Full-of-Grace

Ruth day 5: Who are you?

The half-moon spilled silver light over Ruth’s path as she moved through shadows, each step sending tremors through her legs. Her heart thundered so loudly she feared it would betray her presence, the borrowed scents of jasmine and cedar mixing with her body’s honest sweat and labor. Naomi’s instructions echoed in her mind, but understanding didn’t make this journey easier.

She paused to untangle her best robe from a thorny bush, the one saved from better days, muttering under her breath. “Foolish, foolish girl.” Earlier, she’d washed with trembling hands, letting borrowed oils sink into her work-roughened skin. Now the perfume felt like a lie against her sun-darkened flesh, a desperate attempt to disguise what she was – a field worker, a widow, a foreigner.

Through the darkness, she could make out his sleeping form. Boaz’s chest rose and fell in steady rhythm, untroubled by the doubts that plagued her. Ruth wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly aware of every imperfection – her calloused hands, her wind-chapped lips, the way labor had hardened her once-soft curves. Her body remembered other men, other nights – the gentle touch of Mahlon, now just a ghost-memory against her skin. But this was different. This approach through darkness carried the weight of choice, of agency.

“What man would want…?” She couldn’t finish the thought. A Moabite widow. A field worker. A woman who spent her days bent double under the sun, gleaning others’ leftover grain. She had seen how women should look, their skin protected from harsh weather, and their hands smooth from easier work. Yet she couldn’t forget how Boaz had watched her in the fields. How his voice softened when he spoke to her. How his hand had hovered that day, almost – but not quite – reaching for her.

Ruth took one hesitant step forward, then another. Each movement felt like walking through deep water, her blood rushing loud in her ears. “If he sends me away…” she whispered to the night air, then bit her lip. If he sent her away, she would simply add one more rejection to a life already full of them, another scar on a heart that had learned to expect wounds.

She knelt beside his sleeping form, the sweet smell of threshed barley rising around them like incense. This close, she could feel the heat radiating from his sleeping form, could hear the steady rhythm of his breath. Her own breathing hitched, shallow and quick, as if her lungs had forgotten their purpose. Her fingers trembled as she reached for the edge of his cloak, the gesture Naomi had explained but Ruth only half understood.

Was this how hope felt? This trembling between desire and fear? This ache to be seen, to be wanted, even while every voice in her head whispered she was unworthy of such grace? Her heart pounded against her ribs as she lifted the edge of his cloak, each movement precise, deliberate, as if she were performing a sacred rite.

RUTH 3:7

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